Breakups Tips: Relationship Breakups Advice That Works 

This section, Breakups Tips: Relationship Breakups Advice is PART TWO of an article. To start with part one, read: Breakup: Relationship Breakup Advice That Works  

• Work to "simmer down" the habit of overreacting negatively. Have you noticed that when people start to fight, they often wind up producing exactly the effect (increased separation) they really wanted to avoid the most? 

It's quite simple: partner one says or does something which appears to partner two to be negative, "disappointing" or inappropriate. Partner two, "stung" or disturbed by this, reacts negatively (often indignantly), saying or doing something which produces a similar or even stronger reaction in partner one.

It doesn't take a "breakups tips" relationship guru to see that this quickly spirals and everything gets "blown out of proportion" with people feeling outraged, wounded, or thinking "me and my big mouth!"

String enough of these largely "gratuitous" tiffs together and the whole situation starts to seem insoluble. This is where many totally avoidable relationship breakups step into the picture. Any breakups advice worth hearing should tell you that, although "love is worth fighting for," it's also worth stopping fighting for, since endless conflict suppresses it!

Sure, sometimes an initial expression of surprise or a degree of anger at something may be understandable - but it doesn't need to be let loose like a fire of stupidity, destroying everything in its path.

• Don't allow a habit of fear, anger or self pity to derail your perspective on things - few relationship breakups tips are as powerful as this one: simply calm yourself down, take stock of the situation and pull yourself right out of the "strikeback" destruction cycle altogether. This will allow you to handle the situation the right way and literally may even save the entire relationship.  

The best anti relationship breakups advice is this: If you really want to say goodbye to "unneccessary" breakups, you can; it's all a matter of mental habit. Don't coast around on autopilot just feeling whatever you happen to feel and letting that make you do and say things - If you love someone, exhibit some self control; show it in the way you listen to them and actually consider what they say, respect their feelings and spare a thought in advance for the effects of what you may be about to say to them, and how you're going to say it.

2 Practical Tips - relationship conflict usually expands when the volume goes up. If an issue arises, even if you feel hurt or have something valid to say, don't raise your voice unnecessarily - slow down and speak more evenly; exchanges can't escalate into a senseless screaming match unless two people play the game. Also, practice inserting a thoughtful PAUSE before you respond at all.

2nd Chance - Stop Breakups Advice Program

• Remember the heart of things; always bring your attention back to what really counts. An underlying love should be the stable basis of the relationship. Breakups are healed by valuing that love and that person so that you (and they) do things differently this time - and keep on doing them differently. 

Regarding this, one of the essential tips relationship partners should heed is that love isn't just a rollercoaster of emotional ups and downs - it's supported by looking at and thinking about things together clearly. This can be done in a very constructive, forward looking and adventurous way.

• Get to know yourself better, without negative judgments. Be more self aware, see clearly what's really going on in your mind. Seriously look at whether the ideas you're holding are necessarily true, or have good effects. This will lead to freedom, perspective and outward expressions of love.
  
  
• Forget about always "being right." There is a great strength in simply being able to admit your mistakes and apologise. You don't have to be perfect, seem perfect, or expect perfection of others. Admit your faults and (almost!) everyone will forgive you. Above all, leave your ego at the door and remember to tell them you love them.
  

We hope that Breakups Tips: Relationship Breakups Advice has been of use! 

 
 
Relationship Life - Breakups Tips: Relationship Breakups Advice That Works. For other advice, see left menu.